Who are you? Part II

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; 

and that my soul knoweth right well.

Psalms 139: 14 (KJV)

Today is Saturday, March 10, 2017 - We are literally into the third month of 2017 and what an interesting three months it has been! We have said farewell to one of the classiest, most intelligent and gentle Presidents of all time - President Barack Obama.  We have inaugurated someone that has caused many people to take off their veils to reveal the ugliness that lurks in their souls - that is all I will say. Women around the world are waking up to the fact that there are dangers to complacency in regards to women's rights and so on.  My blogs are to inspire...so back to our regular programming.


I have been thinking quite a bit lately about self-confidence or the lack thereof.  Self-confidence is awareness and belief in your personal judgment, abilities, skills, power, etc.  In recent months, my self-confidence has diminished.  After a conversation with my life coach (yes, I have one and if you would like to contact her - email me - she's great!), I realize that my self-confidence has taken a beaten in the past few months.  Understand that by nature and virtue, I am a winner! If I make up my mind to do something, I achieve my goal.  I will achieve the goals that I have set personally, professionally and within the scope of my businesses.  That being said, my actions/reactions of late are not reflective of that mindset. Which leads to the question what can I do to get back on track? I am being very transparent here because I believe this will help somebody.

So how can you rediscover your self-confidence?

• Hire/Find a life coach - this should be someone you believe in and someone willing to get in your face with reality.  Call them an accountability partner.  This person will call you on your crap and help you understand the obstacles/personal hindrances to obtaining your life goals. Try here  - (www.reallifehelpers.com) or call 615.307.0786.
• Daily Affirmations - Practice daily affirmations.  Place post-it notes on the bathroom mirror,  in the car, type them in a revolving marquee setting on the computer wallpaper and READ at every opportunity.  Read it and say it until is etched into your soul. A good place to start is here... (http://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/)
• Me-Time - This is required! Sometimes you are so busy being everything to everybody until you forget who you are and that your dreams and desires are important, too.  So take some time to get a shampoo/wash/cut, get manicure/pedicure, go window shopping, take a drive or walk, do something that you want to do.  If you do not want to leave home, take a long hot soak and read a good book. Learn a new craft - do something for YOU.  
• Dress-Up - Dress the part! Look like the success story that you are.  If you do not have a penny in your pocket, you can still look like you are priceless.  Put on that suit or dress. Accessorize - (parazziaccessories.com/65484/ - visit my site for accessories that are only $5 😍 ) - yes, I just plugged my business! But put on those earrings, necklace, tie or whatever that makes your outfit pop and walk with your head up! Do this even if you are just going to Wal-Mart.  
• Introduce yourself - Yes, go out and meet people.  This says to a person that you believe in yourself (even if you are shaky on that point) and that you are someone they need to know. Smile and say "Hello."

This is a day-by-day process. Take a note from Nike, "Just do it!" Watch how your outlook on life changes.  Remember, you are not alone on this journey called life, but sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader and say - "I am a Winner!" Then - believe it! Be happy, be blessed!

Who are you?

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139: 14 (KJV)

I am on a journey back to me.  I know, I know...I should know who I am by now, but the reality of that is - I do not know who I am - really! Recently, I have given much thought to this question because I found myself trying to fit into a box meeting the constraints of "whom" others say that I am or who I should be.  The problem with this is, these people do not know who I am.  They cannot know because, in order to know who I am, they have to know who my spirit man is. In order to identify another's spirit man, you have to know who YOU are in the spirit and at this point in time, many are not concerned about their spiritual identity.  They are giving lip service to Christianity, but are failing to fulfill their need to relate with The Father.

But, I am there. I want to be a more effective vessel for God.  I want to be a walking billboard which says "I know a Someone who loves you in spite of everything you have ever done or imagined, let me introduce you to Him." In order for me to be that billboard, I am revisiting the question of "who are you?" Susan has gotten lost in being the wife, mother, teacher, entrepreneur, student, sister, aunt, caregiver, friend, etc.  So I am going to do my first work over again.  I am going to rediscover me and who I am in my Father's eyes.

I started with this devotional article found on http://www.todayschristianwoman.com - "Need a Confidence Boost?".  So today I take the first step - I am replacing my misconceptions of me with truths that are presented in God's Word. Using the article as a foundation, I will spend time with the following affirmations and scriptural proof of who I am in Him:

• 
  
• I am:
• Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
• Precious to God (Isaiah 43:4)
• Cared about since my conception (Isaiah 46:3)
• God's child (John 1:12)
• Jesus' friend (John 15:15)
• Chosen by Jesus (John 15:16)
• Loved dearly by God (John 16:27)
• Free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)
• A temple—a dwelling place—of God's Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16)
• Redeemed and forgiven of all my sins (Colossians 1:14)

The author ends this study with the following quote about God's generic description of Eve - "All he tells us about her in Genesis 1:27, 31 is that she was made in his image and it was very good!" So, I am inserting my physical strengths, weaknesses and character flaws in a descriptive sentence of who I think I am and ending it with "I am made in the image of God and He says that I am all of that and more!" Stay tuned for the make-over!

Wallace, Verla. "Need a Confidence Boost?" Today's Christian Woman. N.p., 01 May 2000. Web. 14 Dec. 2016.

A Tribute...

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

2 Corinthians 5: 8

Mothers are our special gifts from God. They carry us in their bodies, rock us on their knees, nurture and care for us and protect us with every part of their being.  They usher us into adulthood with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts.  For those that are called Home early, they still left their imprint on the lives of their children.

As a mother, I am blessed to have witnessed my son reach natural adulthood and I am excited about what God has ordained for his future.  I am blessed as a daughter to have had my mom for 39 years of my life and I cherish the legacy she left with me...

But today, I celebrate the life of a woman that I never had the opportunity to meet.  Mrs. Patricia Faucett Gonzalez is my mother-in-law.  I married her son 6 years and 3 months ago.  She went to be with the Lord 33 years ago today, two days after her 40th birthday.   Ms. Pat left a legacy through her husband and 4 children - Anthony, Patrick, Deatra and Kenneth.  She loved her children...how do I know this?  Even today, the love is evident in all the memories her family and friends share of her.  She touched and impacted many lives in her 40 short years here on Earth.  Her children like the rest of us have stumbled and tripped in life, but her prayers and words of wisdom were planted and continue to sustain them.  So today, they still overcome - they get up and try again.  Her love for cooking  - which is a love language among Southern-born mothers - is evident.  All of her children, even Kenneth who was very young at her passing, have her gift for creating dishes full of love and yumminess.  She was outgoing and made many friends throughout her life and they still share her memories with her family.  What a legacy to leave, Ms. Pat! I never met you here on Earth, but based on your testimony - We will meet in the spiritual realm.  Continue to rest in peace, Ma'am. 

So yesterday did not go so well...

"Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3: 22-23 (NKJV)

No matter what yesterday's challenges were, today is a new day.  It is a day to start over, continue on the right path, change directions or any of the other opportunities we have to correct what we did wrong or what did not go right yesterday. We are granted with new mercies.  

Do not look back...the past is gone! Live and enjoy today.  Be kind to someone...smile or just treat someone to lunch or coffee unexpectedly.  Seems simple huh?  Sometimes the simplest things can turn around the ill effects of yesterday.  God grants us new mercies EVERY DAY! As long as we live, as long as we breathe, we have the opportunity to move in a new direction, change our attitude, help somebody, start a business, go back to school...get the point? Our Father is a God of many chances...take advantage of His grace and mercy today.

The woman at the well took her opportunity...The adulteress took her opportunity and Jesus cleaned the slate with five words "Go and sin no more!"...even Saul became Paul...what are you waiting on? Salvation is waiting on YOU - that is the first order of business! Forgiveness is there, just receive it! Don't forget to forgive yourself while you are at it! Ask God to guide you in the walk He has purposed for your life. Then watch Him bless you! Then watch it manifest in your natural walk...Returning to school - go ahead and register! Business opportunities have your name written all over them! That new job...it's waiting!  Go for it! Go in faith, believing that what God has for you...it is for YOU! Make it a great day, be blessed!

When will I Iearn...

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8: 28

I truly believe in sowing into the lives of others.  When my friends have businesses, I do my best to help them if my circumstances permit.  The thought behind that is one's freedom from want does not come from working for someone else, it comes from working for yourself.  It's a philosophy that we should teach our children.  

Lately, my frustration has been rooted in my sowing into an infertile ground.  People who pretend that they desire better, but their actions do not match their words.  I believe what I am told until proven wrong.   Maybe they are just slow to act, or life happens, I get that.  I suppose I think people were taught the values that my parents deeply instilled in me.  IF you are not going to do something that you committed to, acknowledge that with a phone call, email or (I do not oppose) a text. Values and mutual respect are becoming things of the past...OK, #rantover.

God has a purpose in this, even if I cannot see it yet. My blessings are pre-ordained and about to overtake me...I am the victor, not the victim. Let's make it a great day!

New Day...New Mercies

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 (KJV)

So yesterday did not go so great! I became frustrated with my husband and somewhat irritated at my son.  The source of that irritation was not directly contributory to either of them.  They were just convenient.  I did not act out on my frustration. I felt it though and I forgot to "cast my cares on Jesus." I internalized all the emotions and did not find an outlet. That's not healthy for me or anyone...

BUT today is a new day.  A chance for me to start anew.  I have breath in my body, so I get a do-over. God is faithful to allow us do-overs. Some say he is God of second chances, but many of us have gotten even more do-overs than we can count. We go back and mess up time and time again.  We have to be thankful for Our Father of second chances and forgiveness.

 I want today to be a day that I can say, I got it right.  I do not want to waste my do-over.

An overcast Monday...

This Monday began like any other Monday. I prepared to head to work, prepared my mind to wind up my unit on Short Stories and administer an exam later in the week. I ticked off a list of to-do's as I was dressing.

I said my good-byes to my husband, brother and canine babies and out the door I went. I mentally checked to be sure that I had my purse, school bag, computer and cell phone - check. Then I called my son at his dorm - no answer. Okay, he is still asleep and does not have class until 10 AM. Then I texted him and requested that he respond to the text when he awakens...

Then I realized that I was going to be late for work, traffic is backed up. A trip that takes me exactly 12 minutes, took me 30 minutes...no accidents, no policeman, just Sunday drivers on a Monday. My cell phone rang just before I make my arrival on campus and it was my hubby. His medical transportation did not bring a van with adequate equipment to handle his Hoveround...really? This is an emergency appointment and not his regular appointment. He is having some symptoms that we are very concerned about and he says, "Oh, I'll just reschedule it." This is stated in a nonchalant manner. Do you know how long it takes to get a doctor's appointment in Shreveport, Louisiana - FOREVER! My stress level has increased exponentially.

Back to my son...I received my response as requested in the form of a texted "?" - Really? Mind you, my son has been suffering with a severe sinus infection and working through it. He goes to work at Red Lobster then medicates himself at night. Yes, I am a concerned mama and his response is a blasted question mark...Stress level doubled.

I get to my classroom door and pull out my lanyard - NO KEY! (I need to go back to bed at this point.) The key is always on my lanyard! I finally just dove into the bottom of my big red school bag and searched until I found the key at the very bottom underneath ungraded papers, books, receipts, etc. (Remember it's not 8 AM yet!)...this day has to get better...

Today is a new day...

The title of today's blog is a refrain that is sung every morning at my school. The lyrics to the song begin..."Today is a new day, a new chance, a new start..." I try to embrace that even more now that I am facing a lifelong battle with sarcoidosis. I was diagnosed in October and it has been and is an uphill battle right now. I have come to terms with the fact that I will live with this condition, but I am determined that I will live symptom free as much as is within my power.

I began oral chemotherapy - Imuran last week. My doctor prescribed this to counteract the effects of prednisone which I have been on since November. The chemo makes me nauseated...the prednisone makes me swell and depressed. In the midst of all of this, I have to try to teach my students who are already behind. Add to this equation, insomnia and you have a volatile state of health and mind. I am trusting God to see me through this though. He has never left me nor forsaken me...so I will continue to tell myself daily...Today is a new day, a new chance, a new start and keep a positive outlook. Be blessed!

Christmas is in the air...

The students are wild and the teachers are ready to send them home to "Momma." This is a sure sign that it is time for the Christmas Break. I will not use the term "Winter Break" because I am not celebrating winter! I am celebrating "Christmas." That said...Jay put up our Christmas tree on Saturday. I am so proud of my son! It helped me begin "feeling" the Christmas spirit - I haven't gotten there totally, but I do have a Christmas cd playing in the car. No gifts have been purchased...Yet, everywhere I look I see evidence of the Season. The neighbors' yards are overflowing with Santas and sleighs and boughs of holly! At my house, we do not do the "Santa" thing. It is all "Joy to the World" and Nativity scenes. I call that "keeping it real." Of course, my son's "Santa" has never been traditional. His is a five foot tall, African American female and there is no way she will fit down a chimney! Hopefully, I will be full fledge into the Spirit of the Season before Decemeber 25th. Maybe if the Browns win Sunday, I will get a big boost!

I am thankful for 2007. I have lost loved ones and friends. I have had disappointments by the score. I am still here though and so far, I have survived. This year has been a year of character building and spiritual pruning. I suppose I will adopt the mantra for 2008 that I developed for 2007 - What's to come is better than what's been...my change will come. Be blessed

I am still here...by the Grace of God!

And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee. Psalm 39: 7

Hello to all of my faithful friends! I haven't blogged for a while. Life has been hectic, but I am blessed, better than blessed! I shared a wonderful Thanksgiving break with my family...literally with my family. I was babysitter to no less than five children everyday of my break. I enjoyed every minute of it! I cooked a full breakfast everyday - pancakes, sausage, eggs, grits and I threw in cinnamon toast for fun. I was also responsible for lunch...in the midst of that, I (the youngest of the family) cooked a full Thanksgiving meal on my own. This was a first...I usually contribute a dish or my assistance. I was given the task all alone this year. I am thankful for the ability and health to do it. I am thankful for being tired after my break. I am thankful for a family to be there for...I am thankful for all things - large, small, good and bad. I am thankful for you...Be blessed!